


Hunger

by Ananfal



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 04:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18491443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ananfal/pseuds/Ananfal
Summary: Have you ever been hungry?





	Hunger

I don't like wasting food. I've gone without it too long to take it for granted and throw it away as though it will always come back when I need it. I do not trust it not to disappear from right in front of me. I do not trust that it will be there when I ask. I do not ever want to be hungry again.

Hunger is such a deceptive foe. I'm not sure what you've heard about what hunger feels like, but whatever it is you've heard, it's wrong. Humans don't really know how to fight something like hunger. Something that cannot be fought with a battle. Something that turns you against yourself. Hunger makes your body lie to itself. Denial to the point of self consumption.

Do you know the phrase, things gets worse before they get better? Hunger likes that phrase for what it does, what it makes people think. Oh, the worst of it is over. I'm safe now. Well, that phrase is wrong. In fact, the truth is the complete opposite. When hunger is involved, it's actually the complete absence of pain that is the most worrying for you. All you have left after hunger is through with you is a gnawing sense of emptiness inside you, the growing realization that something is missing within. Something you'll never get back.

Hunger usually starts with a small rumbling, a grumbling - unless, that is, your stomach is a quiet complainer. Your stomach might be content with a little twinge now and then, but chances are you've got a loud one. Caution, your fuel gauge is empty! Please fill immediately. When you don't listen, it begins to pipe down. Yelling doesn't do it or you any good.

When being loud doesn't help, your stomach gets violent with you. I've found that humans often turn to violence when they don't get their way. Claws raking down the inside of your body, in random places, at random times. You bend over, a physical reaction to an internal pain. You can't ever get used to it, you can't ever try to ignore it. It makes itself known, it forces you to pay attention. It makes your breath leave in a gasping rush, a small quiet groan slipping through your clenching teeth as you grip your skin.

The claws transform into a radiating ache, always present, never ending. This pain, you could almost forget - except for the moments when the almost gentle pang of your stomach's reminder becomes a burning blanket of wrathful flames coating your core, scorching you to char. Grilled well done. At this point, you're so cold the warmth is almost welcome. Then the fire burns out. You are left with ash that blows away in the wind. You are empty. You are alone. You are a vessel, so filled up with hunger you are hollow. Now you can try to forget, except for the feeling of need that stays in your mind, even when your body tries to tell you it is fine. It is not fine. The worst is not over. You are not safe. You are not better. Your body is not better. Now it begins to slow down, cool down, power down.

It begins to stop.


End file.
